Fatwa for the traffic offenders...

Not so long ago, a certain "shampoo boy" (not Fez played by Wilmer Valderrama from the popular sitcom That '70s Show) decided to come up with fatwas for the intolerable mistakes which people committed not out of chance but out of practice ...Almost all of his blog posts are wonderful to read, having the right mixture of suspense, action and stuff like that. Do check his blogs and have a wonderful read.

I thought of adding to his list with my own set of fatwas and hence this blog...

Prereading: Traffic Fatwas!! and Fatwa Time!!

I'd love to be a part of shampoo boy's sniper team. My cv would include having played Max Payne and an expert at random shooting in a haphazard manner which would kill a few good guys maybe. But a lot of bad guys would be slain \m/

Scene1: A one way sign at the intersection of 2 roads pointing along neither of the roads. i happen to head along one of them when i meet this cop who stops me and demands i pay a hefty fine for violating the sign, not bothering to listen to my side of the story when he himself is travelling along the one way in the wrong direction.

Comment: Whats happening to the pot-bellied policemen? To say that they are greedy is an understatement... In the recent past, a news channel had shown a video recording of policemen being trained. They had to run for some distance with rifles in hand. But there was a word of caution from their leader. All people who weighed more than 70kgs, had asthama and arthritis etc. were exempted from carrying out the drill and were warned not to...Don't know the reason as to why they are in the police force in the first place?

Scene2: A busy road where traffic is moving at a pretty fast pace in both the directions. People on two-wheelers come in the way of oncoming traffic from the other direction(while overtaking) not seeming to give a damn about the value of their life or any body else's. Auto-rickshaw drivers driving at a snails pace right in the middle of the road and no amount of honking from other commuters behind him seems to awaken this zombie. People taking left or a right turn with no indication whatsoever..or still better they show the right indicator and turn left or vice-versa..You are zooming at some speed say 60-70kmph on an empty stretch of road when some auto rickshaw driver surfaces out of nowhere, does not seem to care about your presence and turns into the road.

Solution: Implementation of the ROADRAGE cheat code(from NFS) into my bike horn :)

Scene 3: Another busy road and bystanders on the footpath await patiently for their chance to cross the road. The scene is pretty chaotic. There is a traffic jam at a particular junction. At some distance, vehicles are zooming past one another. Suddenly an autorickshaw turns into the way of oncoming traffic from a nearby road and narrowly misses being killed thanks to the presence of mind of the old gentleman sitting at the seat of the WagonR who realised to apply the brakes(special thanks to the WagonR people for their brakes equipped with advanced technology). The gentleman in the car questions the autodriver's senility at which the autodriver recalls his mental lexicon of obscenities and lets go a barrage of his choiciest lingo,much to the surprise and amazement of all the people surrounding him.

Solution: Appoint the autodriver as the dummy while conducting crash testing of cars and other vehicles.

Hope people will be more responsible and use more of their COMMON SENSE.